one word: firstdatebathroomanal
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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