so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
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It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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