it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You may now shotgun with the bride
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
