We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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