I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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