At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
