Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
