The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You need a sexual gate keeper
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
