Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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