i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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