My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
