Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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