eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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