At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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