Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
