Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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