My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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