btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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