if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
