Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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