What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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