i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
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