oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
