I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
