The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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