ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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