I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I've blown a few things in my day
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
