Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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