Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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