Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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