I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
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As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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