the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
accomplished twins. life is a go
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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