omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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