I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
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