Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
