i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
