i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
