Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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