The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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