Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
