Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
