At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
