I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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