how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
