I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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