was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
