I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
