I need to stop coming to work sober
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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