my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
