hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
