well you can't waste a boner
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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