my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
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