Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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