i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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