Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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