Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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