No stitches, just platelets and will power
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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