I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
