Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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