Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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