I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
