problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
