I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
